I would talk to your school's health services about this. What does she do for a living? This baby is no more your responsibility than his, and if he's down to help raise it, you should be geographically near each other. Regarding this guy, he is 31 and he's still acting like a child? We had a minor pregnancy scare, and that's where a lot of my thoughts about how he will react come in. I meet this guy on my 19th birthday he was a few years older than me.We started hanging out everyday,talking everyday for hours at a time,we soon started having sex but never said we wanted to be in a relationship,both wanted to wait and just enjoy eachother and not be tied down.5mths into it i became pregnant with my first,i didnt want kids and really thought i … Tl;dr Ex wants to get back together and be a family, but his actions indicate otherwise. What do I do? We'll talk about it. A JILTED lover wore a fake baby bump and lied about her pregnancy for nine months to stalk her ex-boyfriend. Chase Severino, the ex-fiance of My Big Fat Fabulous Life star Whitney Way Thore, welcomed his first child with his ex-girlfriend. If I can do it, you can too. Severino announced the birth of his baby … No one will be happy if you do a bad job of raising this child. LAUREN Goodger has revealed she's just over three months pregnant with boyfriend Charles Drury's baby, having previously suffered miscarriage heartbreak. I do not want this baby. I don't know what your other options are, but you better explore them. And I recommend it because you seriously sound emotionally stuck on him. We're just free to date other people (which we don't) and we aren't mushy. If you guys do get back together, perhaps the introduction of a child will strengthen the relationship. Too late. It's not up to them and you know yourself better than they do, but you do need to realize that your life will change forever and that it's hard for you to judge what this will be like. A WOMAN has tried to win back her ex-boyfriend by faking an email from her hospital. How can I get out of an abusive relationship? I do not want this to be a revenge. We are a welcoming subreddit and support the rights of all genders. I can not imagine raising the child with her- even though I am certian we will never get back together. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. I'm going to tell him today. That is naive. Kids also provide you with a happiness you've probably never experienced, but it's important to consider all the factors. Why? It's your decision to make, but I wonder if you've fully thought through this choice to become a mom? And you think once you have a screaming baby adding on to the stress of your relationship things are going to go swimmingly? Brian was definitely the father. We've been best friends for 10 years. Forget about it for a couple years. So having the kid get minimal visitation is best, because he isn't going to be the father you want him to be. No, there is no law requiring women to inform the father (actual or putative) of their child of their pregnancy. I'm doing my best to finish at the end of the fall term, which will mean taking on a summer course load, but I can do that. For your future child's sake, do not get back together with this man. Posts are moderated for respect, equanimity, grace, and relevance. I'm moving in with my grandpa for now, and will probably move up north with the father once I graduate. TLDR: I'm 19, pregnant with my ex boyfriend/best friend's baby, he doesn't know yet and I'm scared. Most of our issue was the distance. She's got everything provided for her and she has all the love in the world. I don't know how the hell we would manage the funds... neither of our families is especially affluent. EDIT: I deleted point four, mostly because my grandfather has offered to let me live with him, and I am finding ways to handle stuff. Long story short, the condom broke, and I found out through blood tests for an unrelated reason yesterday that I'm pregnant. We had the blood work and test performed, and I was not the father of her baby. At least not in the UK, Japan, Australia, etc. I had sex with my girlfriend’s mum. Thank you for this. I'm pregnant and it's yours. Maybe you should consider getting an abortion now so you can better prepare in the future when you're ready to give the child a better life it deserves. I said that's fine...he is a bit emotionally abusive to me (has bursts of anger, likes to disappear for several days without contact because he's so mad) so I told him he can't explode or blow up on our child like he has done with me. My granddad lives close enough to campus for me to commute. What's your support system like? Now she’s pregnant and so is my girlfriend. If you decide to do formula instead of breastfeeding, wic makes a hell of a difference because the prices of formula are outrageous. The two of you had broken up. Your advice has all been taken to heart. Even in a strong relationship, kids can really shake the (relationship) foundations - and here you are contemplating raising a child with someone who has made it very clear to you that he would be a shitty partner, and quite likely a sub-par father (emotional abuse won't disappear when he lays eyes on the baby). It is not an issue. We're together, I guess. 7. I forgot what friends were. EDIT: I deleted point four, mostly because my grandfather has offered to let me live with him, and I am finding ways to handle stuff. That's an irresponsible approach, however, which will lead to misery for you and your child. He moved 8 hours away when we were 12 and goes to school 6 hours away from where I do. I respect the decision you've made, but I hope you know that single mothers have it really rough. I might be pregnant with my ex's rape baby and my boyfriend doesn't know My (21F) ex (25M) was abusive to me throughout our entire 4 year relationship (i have several lasting injuries from this). I scheduled an appointment right after I found out, and my healthcare covers it. Single motherhood is difficult. I actually know a girl (my ex's girlfriend actually...) who has a baby and goes to university as well, so I know it is possible. – Hadley* Abuse — physical, sexual, or emotional — is never OK. You need to get out of the relationship for your sake and your baby's. He ignores my messages and calls and now he's saying we should be just friends and we should consider putting the baby up for adoption. I told him no, I will raise the baby with or without him. This was a roller coaster of emotions for us (I’m age 41, he’s 36), but the relationship seemed good. Teen Mom's Cheyenne Floyd Reacts to Ex-Boyfriend Cory Wharton's Baby News The star reached out on social media and congratulated her ex on his news. **UPDATE: Honestly, this thread has upset me more than I can say, and has brought me to tears a couple of times. I was in no position to raise a child when in became pregnant either, but dammit if I didn't make it work and now everything is better than it ever has been in my life. \. I had known for a couple weeks alone and tried to decide on my own if I wanted the baby or not, and I do want to keep them. I fell in love with my daughter before she was born, i knew i couldn't bear to give her up. So please find support (financial and emotional) wherever you can (school counselors would be good) and tell the father right away. I realized that I … Will you be able to afford the incredible expenses that come with raising a child? I am really frustrated because he is going back and forth. Almost a year after we broke up, I was back in town on summer break … Some days I wondered how I made it out of bed, but I did. A baby deserves the best of you, this baby will change your life, and out your world upside down. I will do my best to keep my grades up... the other two I know I can handle. Point 1: I'm keeping the baby. If you were close to where I live I'll open my house for you and let you help me with my newborn and my one year old so you could really see what it's like. It sounds conceded and bratty, but I know I can. Don't let people tell you to give up the baby if you don't want to. I got pregnant in a very very similar situation as you. I sincerely hope you are truly considering what is best for your child here. It sucks that you are making the choice to deal with this idiot for the rest of your life now. Malika Haqq gave birth on Saturday, March 14, welcoming her first child with her ex-boyfriend O.T. Based on your income of minimum wage, you should be eligible easily. My boyfriend went through something just like this his ex a few yrs back which my blog is about. Also, take advantage of programs like wic. My wife had a baby boy, who we raised as our own, and never told Brian and his wife, although, I suspect Brian might have known. Surely you'll have other chances in the future. I stood my ground. YOu can arrange visitation where you don't have to even see him. I'm calling him when he's out of classes. Do NOT count on this guy for anything. Unless you plan on being a bad parent. As a single dad, get this guy out of your child's life by any means possible. You'll have to work your ass off, and it will leave you drained. There are millions of single moms out there! When we were off he would date this girl Kelly, and when we broke up for the final time he went and married her. Point 5: How the fuck do I tell him? If you want to keep the baby. It is not an issue. However, Meryll and Joem kept mum about their rekindled … And maybe I'm reading into things here, but it kind of sounds like you're hoping this baby is going to "fix" all the problems you had with your boyfriend.. But you have no idea what you are getting into. Imagine your future relationship with 1000 times more stress. If you're eligible (which I suspect you are), there's no reason to not get on it. If either of us transfers, we lose our state scholarships. If you're stressed out now, things will only get worse once the baby is born. We video chat regularly, so I'm going to tell him that way. I don't have a lot of advice on the boyfriend situation, the best thing in my book is to be honest with him, and to prepare yourself for either outcome. Its fact you will make mistakes, obviously, but the fact that you have all the proof you need of what to do, and had to come here, shows that your decisions will NOT be healthy for this child. That'll give you all the answers about having a precious life in your hands, you'll be everything for this baby, are you really prepared to give this baby the best? The guy was an old boyfriend from high school, we dated off and on. Tell your ex about the baby but reassure him that everything is going to be fine. Point 2: Don't just get back together because of the baby. Other things. I can do this. Take a parenting class, volunteer babysitting, read as much as you can. Sound just elated you have to if it'll ease his mind at all. This guy and I still have romantic feelings for the other. Sounds like that relationship ended for good reason. Knowing him, he'll want to be part of our lives (and probably ask me to marry him). Stop letting him walk on you emotionally. I don't think I've ever met a single mom who didn't hook up with her babies daddy at least once or twice after breaking up. He claims he will be a good father and how poorly he treats me/his current actions shouldn't concern me cause they're not good indicators of how he treats the baby. We dated for two years long distance and broke up about 4 months ago because it was hurting our friendship. Babies are a huge HUGE HUGE responsibility. I was looking at going cloth, which my mom did with me and siblings, to save money. Instead of having sex with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend, your goal should actually be self improvement. People don't just end a long-term relationship for funsies. You're not being unreasonable. That i can promise you. now i have a beautiful 6 month old daughter. For you, it'll be nice because you have a scholarship. Jilted lover wore fake baby bump & lied about pregnancy for 9 months to stalk ex thesun.co.uk - Claudia Aoraha. And sleep? I make $45k, have free babysitting, and volunteered for parents as teachers and early head start most of my life so on paper I was ready to be a parent. Start looking online for coupons on diapers and slowly stock up on those. Imagine your future relationship with 1000 times more stress. So stay in. | … If it does happen that you two decide to get back together to try to become a family, it might be worth one of you transferring schools to be able to work together with this. The only difference is then father of my child was around, but jobless at the time. He may turn out to be a good dad (watch him carefully though), but he's already proven he's a shitty partner. Need help with your relationship? I'm using a throwaway for all the usual reasons. The amount of angst you will induce is the LEAST of your concerns BY A LOT. Clearly, staying in this relationship will show the Signs of An Unhealthy Relationship with Boyfriend. I don't mean to belittle you in any way, please understand. I think you know your next step has to be to talk to your ex-boyfriend as any plans you may have in your head are nothing if you haven't spoken to him about them. And it seems like neither of you are ready. It's not up to them and you know yourself better than they do, but you do need to realize that your life will change forever and that it's hard for you to judge what this will be like. We need to figure this out." A month and a half ago, I went to the beach for a weekend out of state with my ex-boyfriend (who is also my very closest friend) and his family. Also your career is going to completely halt because now you'll have to be spending all this time on the kid while everyone else around In your peers won't have this problem. What's the least angst-inducing way I can tell him? A young woman is being slammed by Redditors for admitting she wants to break up with her boyfriend after he revealed he was raped as a child. He's going to want to get back together, and I've wanted to since we broke up. Keep it. I’m sorry but I’d never give up my baby. Depending on where you are and quality, childcare can easily be over $1k/month. I'm hormonal but im not sure I should be crying all the time from this. My sister is pregnant with her ex-boyfriend's baby. You also need to talk to your family and university about what support you can get. Point 2: Don't just get back together because of the baby. Think about this baby op. Welcome to TwoXChromosomes, a subreddit for both serious and silly content, and intended for women's perspectives. No one will be happy if you do a bad job of raising this child. You're definitely better off without him, if you do decide to get this baby, he'll probably ruin your life more, and ruin the baby's life by having a father who would yell at the baby for crying probably.if he leaves you when he's mad God protects this baby from him, baby will make him go crazy. I do not want to sound accusatory, but you all have done the exact opposite, and in attempting to push your viewpoint onto someone else have come out just as narrow-minded and zealous as the worst of the pro-lifers. Perhaps see if there is an affordable efficiency apartment near your school. Unless you plan on being a bad parent. My boyfriend’s baby mama is so jealous, it got to the point she is using her own child as a weapon in a battle with her ex husband. Do not expect him to change. Secondly, if you don't have health insurance, and even if you do, get on Medicaid. For the love of god do not drop out. I'm 19, he's 19. My daughter is that kid that everybody says "see, act like that girl, she's being behaved". Parenthood is all about giving - your time, your money, your energy. Help. What do you expect. Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! He's too old to be playing like that, he's not responsible, stable and he's abusive according to you, why on earth would you stick around with that? I would talk to your school's health services about this. For me, the new baby was a final closure, he had … Scared to death, to be honest. I depended on government aid quite a bit in the beginning, now I'm entirely independent. While there, we ended up having sex. It did with mine. Start looking online for coupons on diapers and slowly stock up on those. hahahaha, meant to include that. However, we were just getting back to the flirty friendship we've had our entire adolescent lives, and I know that this responsibility will change everything. Your school will refund to you whatever doesn't go toward tuition and fees, and I know for me that money made a difference. The body has an early warning and detection system that … Basically, we had a summer where we basically just went to the beach, gamed, watched movies, and fucked. If you're going to do this, do it right. I do have some advice based on my experiences. I don't know what your other options are, but you better explore them. I'm a junior (I CLEP'd out of my entire freshman year, and did community college to wipe out a lot of major requirements) and he's a sophomore. The father and I have talked, and I think we've decided that we're in a committed relationship more than "boyfriend/girlfriend" but not quite "fiancées" or "married". Wilmer Valderrama has one of his biggest roles coming up: dad!. No, you are not getting back together because you have a child. I left him in december when i was pregnant. Men of reddit, please advise me. If we were physically closer, that'd be fixed. I have no one I can turn to, and this has all just been thrown at me. I would never say or do anything to hurt that child. He had already broken up with you. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, More posts from the TwoXChromosomes community. Or one of you should, anyway. Dear god I'm in over my head. The only reason he is considering coming back is because you are telling him you are going to have his baby. Done and done. My opinion? So now he's back at trying to be with me. I lost my virginity to this guy when I was 15 (more to the story coming up later, because that's relevant), What happened to this story? Well; now she was pregnant, and she told me there was a chance I was not the father. We both still have sexual and emotional feelings for each other, however if we had continued along the path we were going we would have ended up hating each other. In really hope things work out in your favor. I am really frustrated because he is going back and forth. You two obviously broke up for a reason. Huge mistake. Why? I texted him just now and am waiting for him on video chat to tell him. A lot of them are run by christian groups but if you can stomach the religion they may throw on you (some do, some don't, it just depends), you can stock up on some much needed items (go to one that offers cribs and car seats, diapers, etc. All these promises of working on our communication and getting excited about the baby. Pregnant Mandy Moore wrote the sweetest message for her ex-boyfriend Wilmer Valderrama after his daughter’s birth. Thank you so much for what you have said, and for not pressuring me. Despite it being her prerogative, that decision is not beyond reproach. My ex-girlfriend is pregnant. Take care x. Plus, its really hard to get back in school once you drop out. Now, moving on from that conclusion, you have to think about what you want to happen when the baby gets here. You need to start getting checkups right away. My boyfriend doesn't treat me very well, and I'm worried it might be bad for my baby. Am I the one being unreasonable for my concerns?? Look into finding a Women's center of some kind (the kinds that do pregnancy tests and such) in your area. Could you wait until you have a better suited partner and give that child a better future? I could be wrong but sounds to me like you already feel a lot of attachment to this baby and abortion or adoption are already out of the question for you. But prepare yourself for a fundamentally different life. At first he pushed for an abortion. Genasis. It doesn't have to be a $20/hr job, but more than minimum wage. He talks with her more in a conversation together. Reality star Whitney Way Thore's ex-fiancé Chase Severino is a dad for the first time! If you need any help finding info on these things in your area, feel free to pm me. Just because this is a common topic on here, why are you choosing to raise a baby as a single mother at 24 years old? The father is the one that has to answer for that. As for my ex, he does have a steady, pretty well paying (for a college student) job. No more weekends, no more evenings, no more studying. Point 1: Ok, fine. A SINGLE mistake can ruin your child's LIFE. Unfortunately, because of his baby mama crying in front of their daughter, complaining about him moving on, now in the eyes of that child I am the bad one. I am pregnant by a man that doesn’t want me. A baby deserves the best of you, this baby will change your life, and out your world upside down. His catastrophic accident and … As far as housing, check to see if your school offers family housing of some kind. Actress Emma Roberts is expecting her first child, a baby boy, she announced Sunday night with new photos featuring boyfriend Garrett Hedlund.. Look on craigslist to see what baby items are going for cheap or free. It's all at my granddad's house. I thought telling my ex was the right thing to do despite it looking like I was being spiteful of our breakup so I told him I was pregnant and planned on keeping it. No... No, I wasn't close to ready. Meryll Soriano surprised everyone when she revealed on New Year's Day that she has given birth to another boy. I was with my ex-boyfriend for five months, during which time I got pregnant by accident but then had a miscarriage. We had unprotected sex a week before we broke up which is a whole other stupid decision in itself. TLDR: I'm 19, pregnant with my ex boyfriend/best friend's baby, he doesn't know yet and I'm scared. I'm moving in with my granddad once the school asks me to leave... or I'll use some of my housing money to get a single until I have the baby and have to leave. Because I forgot what sleep was long ago. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Entering back into a relationship with him isn't going to end well for you or the baby. That baby can feel loved with or without a father. Is she obligated to tell him in a certain amount of time? You have a long road ahead of you and have approximately 9 months to mature into someone who can put the needs of a baby ahead of your own. Well, I'm technically (a really, really really terrible, in case it wasn't totally obvious) Catholic, so I know I can get help from them without major religious talks. The amount of angst you will induce is the LEAST of your concerns BY A LOT. Point 1: Ok, fine. As he explained on Reddit, his wife had an intense on-again-off-again relationship with her ex, but eventually she ended things for good when he became abusive. If you agree to their little classes or whatever). Less phone sex, and cyber sex. I'm just stating the possibilities at this point. You need to talk to your ex and see what kind of support he will be able to provide. And maybe I'm reading into things here, but it kind of sounds like you're hoping this baby is going to "fix" all the problems you had with your boyfriend.. No. Most of the time, interpreting a dream about pregnancy focuses on the symbolism of pregnancy, giving birth, or children, but the first rule of the DREAMS 1-2-3 system is to consider the obvious. You don't need a fancy two bedroom apartment when the baby is that young. I'm not necessarily trying to dissuade you from your decision, I'm just trying to give you some perspective. I was 19, in college, living in dorms. When I first met Rob, I thought my older sister, Clare was so lucky to be with a guy like him; he was handsome, kind and so sweet to her. So I am concerned about his character but I don't want to deny our baby their fathers involvement. If you decide to do formula instead of breastfeeding, wic makes a hell of a difference because the prices of formula are outrageous. Like I have said so many times here, think about the baby. Are you 100% sure on this? I have a sister who did it. My youngest sibling is only 8, so we still have a lot of baby stuff I can probably use. if we had continued along the path we were going we would have ended up hating each other. Other things. I forgot what it feels like to be in romantic love. **. I'm signing up for more summer classes to maybe shorten my term up, so I can graduate earlier. The baby deserves a chance at life and the baby deserves to be here to be loved by his or her mother! He needs to tell his parents. After having a child you are considered an independent in terms of fafsa and you will be eligible for more grants and such. Not only that but your dating pool is going to shrink like you can't believe after having the kid. He had sex with a girl and he claims it was before he knew I was pregnant. And mass quantities of each. Very overwhelming for me, and I have the support of a loving and caring responsible father. A final note: being pro-choice means respecting the choices that someone has made, whether it be abortion, adoption, or keeping it. My daughter will be 3 this Friday and we made it work, shes happy. On Wednesday, Chase announced that he welcomed a baby girl named Aurora Joyce. Why does it have to be this baby at this age? I forgot what I wanted to do with my life. I broke up with her because I was positive we would not make a good couple or ever get married. That's fine... they're not the right choice for everyone. If you do have the child, you should really be prepared to raise it as a single mother. I know he'll try to "do the honorable thing" and marry me... just because we discussed this situation after a scare a few years back (we were romantically and sexually involved since the age of 15). Point 3: How am I going to see him? If not, I'm not really sure what to tell you to do. Then he said he wanted to be involved. I told him I was ready to be a single mother and would understand if he didn't want involvement. We broke up 6 weeks ago and we just found out last week. Now he says he wants us to be a family. No more weekends, no more evenings, no more studying. Just have to wait for him to be out of class. Point 4: I can barely take care of myself, let alone a baby. As somebody already said - set up child support and visitation, but don't let him back in more than you have to. It's ok if you both can't be together for a little while. I’m 26 and my girlfriend’s 24. Im pregnant with my ex boyfriends baby I found out today, he has a new girlfriend after 1 and a half months of breaking up. Even if he wants no part in this, I'm keeping the baby. The fact that you haven't already figured that out tells me you are just about as prepared as he is. Singer Paloma Faith Gives Birth to Daughter No. Tom De Backer. It's going to be alright :). Next, start looking for a better paying job. Dreams about pregnancy are loaded with possibilities for symbolism and meaning. Point 5: "Hello, Ex. We need to figure this out." He'll step up. Spend as little as you can. Not trying to be a dick here, but I think if you have come to the realization that you can barely take care of yourself, let alone a baby, you're making a somewhat illogical choice if you go ahead with it. Please, please think about this. He's calling in a few. You can vastly improve your life, all the while getting you closer to your ex. Help. You won't be able to see your friends much unless they come to you. You are young and about to have a kid and it's father in your life forever. Point 4: I would bet lots of money that you do not have nearly enough money to support yourself and the baby (I've seen your statements about debt and money in the bank account). Thank you so much for your help... it's good to know it can work. I don't exactly have much of a life anyways. The main reason we broke up was because of the stress of distance. Top Answerer. 100% serious question. -prepares for downvotes by the hundreds-. You should probably cut him out of your life before it causes more problems. My [26F] ex boyfriend's [27M] girlfriend [20sF] is convinced that I am pregnant with his baby Strap in, this one is a ride. The idea sounds great, who wouldn't want the thought? You sound VERY 19 in your post, which is why people are pressing you to consider adoption. People sometimes say, "It'll work itself out" when questions like these are raised. I have made my decision, and was not looking for input regarding that, something which I specifically stated. Think about this baby op. Right now, I'm just... scared shitless. Well she cheated on him and then got pregnant he didnt know if the kid was his so he did a dna test and found out it wasnt his he stuck my her side for a while but the the feeling for her just started fading like the love was no longer there so he broke it off. He is not in a relationship with you, so he doesn't really owe you anything, and you don't owe him anything. Having the baby at all seems like a sign of extremely poor judgment, even though that reddit rarely likes to say that. Hundreds of dollars every month will go into your child. I think I've heard that wic actually gives you more financial assistance if you are breastfeeding, and breastfeeding is free (well, you may need a lactation consultant or pump, but even those are cheaper than formula) and of course Breastfeeding is healthiest for mama and baby, not just nutritionally but it also has physical, mental and emotional benefits. It's his, as I have not had sex with anyone else in my entire life- I lost my virginity to this guy when I was 15 (more to the story coming up later, because that's relevant) As you can expect, this changes everything. If you are newly pregnant, it sounds like you will be due during the spring term of next year, plan on taking off that semester but only that one. Congratulations! Point 2: I'm so, so scared that if we get back together because of the baby, we're going to go back to the friction we had at the end of our relationship.

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