I sent her a text instead, saying "Hi, is it okay if I contact you like this or should I back off? You took the wrong woman for granted. But I understand. Maybe... but you have said that you have let her know how you feel, maybe she thinks you will not change. On the other side note of things, how can I inspire her to reconnect? Just try talking to her and seeing where it leads :P. That's for sure. Even after my mom was cured, the fear of losing her still scared me to death. A friend from a distance, meaning anything but meeting up? Continue your efforts in pursuing her, because she is still emotionally attached to you, unless of course she strongly conveys that she needs space. I became distant,took her for granted, got dumped,broke down. That emotional bond she was so eager to give to me when we were together that I didn’t give back in the same extent because she was on me so much, without coming off looking desperate or pathetic and weak? My Boyfriend broke up with me because of his new job? That she should take this chance because she wanted you and not only do you want her but you need her. How would it be a favour if I wanted to stay with her?I just don't understand how she can go from being the one who wanted to make the relationship work so much to being the one that wants to bury it underground as fast as possible without looking?What is going on here? Dumped me, never looked back.. Other things that was brought up was how our relationship should look like. for you. it's her fault? If she could only let me fix it! She's not willing to give him yet imo. If she does not feel that you care, then it's possible that she'll start trying to appear that she feels the same way to you. I need help from you guys as to what should I do. I still say you should move on. Only problem was, I was pissed so I said on the phone that I was going over there to beat up the guy if he showed up, and of course she freaked out and was even close to call the police. Thank you very much for taking the time to reply :), Also, towards later stages of the relationship, it's normal for courtship to decrease. In the beginning when we meet I was a big challenge to her and she chased me, we dated for 2 months before I even gave her our first kiss, she was on me like there was no tomorrow, we continued being together for many months everything was good she was still on me like crazy until the last one or 2 months I should have seen the red flags like less affection, distraction, depression, I thought it was just temporary, and at the same time I thought OK cool finally I can get a breather now. I was 18 (a stupid kid at the time) and I dated an older woman. It would be easier for her to stay away. Why should we meet up what would we do? To this day she'll take me back in a heartbeat. Remember, your attitude right will affect her view about getting back with you. What's going on here?" I didn’t completely understand the situation, though. don't chase after her. Phone communication to get her back should be in addition to face to face contact. I think she is out of town again what am I suppose to do man? it just seems worded wrong but still seems wrong even if you didn't mean it that way. She is also trying really hard to associate negative things with me such as bringing up things from the relationship that I didn’t know was even a problem, things I thought she did because she liked me, like adding my favorite spices in the food for an example. Perhaps you should do your own thing for a while. I'm simply suggesting that look out for your own well being in the process. you miss her and can’t live without her, you want her back to feel good about yourself). Sounds like she's doing you a favour. You took the woman you love for granted and now she's gone. She's being cold because she needs space, so give it to her. And I have a feeling she will regret this later on when she comes to her sense and pretend as if I was never there for her which is just going to piss me of even more.So what do you think I should do? You have to let women come to you when they want. We haven't spoke since the day of the break up, but I will definitely call her in the coming days, to try to talk and meet up face to face. Can you blame her? She was 23 at the time but we clicked and started dating. I'm just afraid she is using this limited contact because she don't want to see me hurt she's acting real cold and I'm not sure what she is doing right now and it worries me. I would walk away and thank my lucky stars you are free from such an inconsiderate person. I think that you should take precautionary measures to protect you own feelings if things don't materialize in your favor with her. Also, it is a good way to know what she really wants because she'll convey that to her bestie. I know how it feels to be ditched on my birthday and pregnant even though he told me to be ready at 8 and showed up at 1 with cake and I don't even like damn cake ama how it feels when I try to break up with him instead of feeling sorry he would bite and pull my hair And demand sex. I had originally planned something fun to do on that day instead of just only talking it out and remembering bad stuff and getting in a bad mood and this is how the our text conversation went that day. What should I do? Try your best, and then allow her space to make her choice. She says she wants me to feel good and that I deserve to feel good, should I interpret that as she only wants to ease her conscience and not feel guilty for what she has done so she that can move on with that other guy? I think that set It for her and she realized her feelings wasn’t just friendship towards him and maybe that's why she went underground since? She "loved" me.. wanted me forever.. all that. It would make her feel you appreciated the relationship and her. In fact, she may have strong feelings for or a bond with him already, which. I said it's either love or hate from my side all in-between would be fake and wouldn’t work she was of course sad about that. I took her for granted and she dumped me, now I want her back I (26M) was dumped by my ex gf (23), 2 weeks ago because she was not feeling the spark anymore. Some girls drag guys through the mud when the know the guys really want them, so stand your. I didn’t say much, I went home and on my way home that’s when I got the text. We then got into the actual causes of the break-up and I felt like I was getting got points acrossed because she was actually realizing that the reasons she used for breaking up with me was not so valid, so I don't know now, what should I do? She wants me to move on and feel happy..should I give her that? Maybe she is expecting me to make a move? I had earlier said that she was downgrading me when she said she wanted us to be only friends after being together. She said, because then I won’t be by myself, you don’t understand what problems I have taking care of myself when I always get drawn to take care of others.So obviously that seems to be her problem, but at the same time she don’t believe in us or want me around and would give that other guy a chance instead. I still believe in fate, so maybe down the line, you still will be together, but you both must grow apart first. When she was the one who have been in touch? If she allows you to hug or kiss her, then by all means. Should I Take Back My Ex-Girlfriend After She Dumped Me? She said she didn’t want me to expect more then just friendship and that she felt I was trying to get closer to her, I was cool about it, when I asked her why she needed me as a friend she said she “Because I need a friend” and when I said to her "you have friends? Avoiding the friend zone requires doing things that her normal male friends do not do. When she broke up I realized what a huge mistake I made losing her, but she … From my POV, I don't want to get back with him even if we were together for 5 1/2 years because, you guessed it yourself, she said she gave you many chances, she saw you as I saw my ex, a recidivist. Is it ethical to use violence to protect one self, one's property, and one's family from an attacker? Cookies help us deliver our Services. She got tired of all the times you expected her to be there and the mistreatment you directed towards you. Relationships must be met in the middle. If someone tells you that you could get her back with ease, they are lying to you. The hard part is getting close to her to actually do it. Hope this helps! I agree, you should keep contact with her, but do it a pace that gives her time to figure out what she wants. And now I’m left with her display of dissatisfaction without being able to properly reach her but at the same time she can’t let me go of me completely because she doesn’t know what the future holds. Should I be persistent with telling her how much she mean to me or back off? But it wasn't explained clearly, maybe it might not be entirely on you, Well it did seem like she asked for you to keep talking to her even after the break up because you mean a lot to her. Yes, keep trying to get in contact with her until you reach her, just keep the attempts spaced out. I then told her “I’m not trying that, the only thing I am trying now is to allow myself to feel and what I feel feels real” pointing at the lack of feelings I showed back in our relationship. (I diden't know what to respond here, so I wen't and took a nap a couple of hours later I sent), SheBut it feels like you’re hope makes you not accept it.MeI've felt that way yes, but if it disturbs you then I can stop feeling that waySheI don't know what to say.MeYou don't have to say anything right nowSheBut you expect it.MeIt depends on what you feelSheI have said what I feelMeTemporary amnesia don't remember :p Just kidding but seriously you have nothing to worry about, we can go out and do something some day if you want and you'll see I don't bite, MeI'm not going to demand something you don't want that would be wrong I just want to understand you that’s allSheBut you want us to be us, me be me :(MeWho knows that you can be anything you want it's not something I can take control overSheBut you want to take control over it, I know you.MeI know it feels that way but as I said when you’re with me I don't want you to do something against you’re will I don't want to have it like that, I want you to be happy or ells it won't work. The fact is, if she dumped you, her attraction to you has plummeted, and you continuing to push her to take you back is only making it worse. It took her 20 minutes to respond and I asked her "How she was doing and if she had any feelings about us yet" and she told me "So far it's the right decision and she is content." No one likes the feeling of taking for granted. A gift, something I could give to her, what should I say really? That’s why I feel so used right now..I just wish I knew what she was thinking or hoping for herself. I played a huge role in the demise of the relationship due to me not courting here, texting and calling her enough. So If I call her right now and she doesn’t pick up again, should I send her a text right after, saying like "how are you?" Give her space and then revisit getting back together with her in a few weeks or so. I eventually tried to get her back. If either of you are hesitant to hang at the moment, then wait until she gets back. When I asked her if there was something I could do to help her she said, you can’t and neither can he, it’s just me that have put myself in this sh*it situation and there is nothing to do about it.So maybe she is confused but at the same time I am afraid I am going to lose her if she moves out of town to study in that town where that guy and her best friend is. I met my ex at a. a young age. Basically, the things I didn't do well. when I explained to her that he knew all along what he was doing because he knew our relationship was in a temporary dip she said I was trying to turn her against him by making him look bad.And everything I say to her seems she seems to second guess, I don’t know it’s like she’s waiting to have an excuse to be mad at me or something, she seems on the edge..and not happy at all. I want her to at least be curious enough to give it a chance to try it out on a whole new note with me and feel good about it. Like she thinks I don’t care for her? Not that I believe in it all so much because I don’t think she would but my mind had drifted away a bit and I wanted to ask. It seems all discussion is one sided right now, what could I say to her without making her feel uncomfortable when answering me? Most of our time was spent with her kids in tow, we prob' only had 10 or so dates on our own 'cos she rarely got babysitters. If she starts looking away or becomes quite or distant, that's you're Q to back off, and then you want appear clingy or desperate. I know what it feels like to be in the hospital when i just had a baby but he ditched me to go fix his car with the money I gave him and went to go see another woman while I was in pain and I could barely walk to go pee I know how it feels to beg him over and over again to treat me right and when I finally truly dumped him he was rude and when he would come visit the baby it would be very brief she would be very mean and act as if I wasn't even there even has a girlfriend that he still won't leave it's been with her for 10 years. When you look at this situation as an outsider, what do you think you need? Dumped me, never looked back.. MeI’m at (coffee place name) it would be fun if you cameHerWill not be able to come, it will be too late.MeOk boring, it won’t be so late, you will be home 11 at most.HerThen I will only be there for 20 mins, not woth it.MeOk an half hour later then.HerCan’t manage to get 6 hours of sleep. Think about for a liitle bit and then make a decision, because whatever you decide is going to require persistence and a lot of patience . When you do touch bases with her, be sure to tell her how much she means to you without pressuring her to come back to you(the goal is to-. Shall I call you later?MeI’m going out for a run I’ll hear from me later if you want to talk some tonight nothing serious just want to check what's up with you hope you are doing wellHerSure it's good it’s just that I’m busy.MeOk fine I’ll from you later then. My question is, now that she is out of town for like one and half week till next Monday, should I keep in touch with her or stay away most of the time? if you feel emotionally drained or if you are wasting your time in pursuing her. How do I suggest a meet up without her thinking I will do something like be close to her and such why would that make her sad? Bro, if she regresses because of you telling her how you feel, then this is not a good time for her. I’m having a hard time doing that. It just don't make any logicl sense to me :s. She's making no sense because she's using emotion rather than logic. Can I get him back? We had a long distance relationship, got a lot of memories together. I just recently got dumped by my ex girlfriend because she said that her feelings has changed and is not the same. I would say it is time to move on. The thing she was missing in our relationship is what she found with that other guy best friend. I just don't want to appear desperate either. “That I maybe was just feeling this way towards her because I want to be good for someone and not for her and that there are other good people out there too and that it’s not just her that is good”I said what made her special was her personality, now thinking to myself why does she pique herself even to say stuff like that about herself? She still wants to hear everything I have to say to her thought but I don't know what she expects me to say to her? And is there a way for me to make her feel better? :/ Are you all right? How do you deal with this crap? I told her I was just checking how she was doing and hoping she was fine and that I would call her tonight after my run. We did actually laugh in our conversation today so it wasn’t that serious all the time so at least I can make her laugh amd we cam laugh together. I totally relate to your situation, so do hesitate to comment or friend reqeust me if you want to chat or vent. Reading this question brought back some memories. I played a huge role in the demise of the relationship due to me not courting here, texting and calling her enough. Move on and be happy? So I went over there waited at her house and then all of a sudden they came, that guy, her mom and her, I didn’t say or do anything I let the guy pass me and then she came I tried to talk to her but it was impossible, her mom tried to make me leave because she thought I was threat, I calmed her down by talking some sense into her, they continued up the stairs, me and her mom followed suite, they opened the door and that’s when all hell broke loose. I don't want to push you you know :/ It feel like I'm doing it right now" I haven't got any response to that, my worst fear is, she is with that guy now and they have hooked up and she is just too afraid to tell me because she don't want to hurt me on the hopeful side, she is just confused and need some time to think and is not responding because she don't know what to say, what do you think? Listen, I went through this once, and it was probably one of the hardist things that I've been through in my life, It was time consuming, emotional, and difficult, but it was worth it in the end. Where is usually the limit in such circumstances? Ironically they show up where they KNOW I am. :s like what is going on here and with her? I have felt unappreciated in my relationship before and have given chances, if he doesn't take them it makes me feel hurt. I had also said that I wouldn’t be able to stand seeing her with someone ells if she ever did get together someone I would have to kind of stop having good thoughts about her in order for me to forget her, she got a bit sad and said that I should remember the good times we had. All you can do is let her know you miss her and will try to be better, but if you are not I'm sure it will end the same way. And it’s not about me showing her I have changed because I don’t want to show off like that, I know what she needs in order to feel happy again and I want to give her that. So here’s the problem what do I do on Thursday? Or do you just miss having her in your life because you’re used to it? I thought it was a breather since she was so much on me not that it was wrong but she didn’t know what the word balance meant back then and the funny thing Is that just that week when the break-up occurred I was planning to commit more to the relationship and start giving back but never got the chance to do so. When ever you feel she's out of line, address it asap. Ok fair enough, but it's been almost one and half week since we spoke last time and 3 weeks since we broke up and she hasen't been so keen to speak with me plus she is out of town so I have a hard time knowing when she will be back to send her flowers and card etc...Is it a good idea to send her a text? If she says no, it's time to let go. You could just do that and let her know that you regret your actions leading up to the break up and that you would be interested in getting back together with her and showing more commitment this time around. Imo, it's not going to be anytime soon, as hard as that may be to hear. As I said, I won’t be able to manage to give more of myself as well, I can feel it for everyday I don’t get anything back how hopeless it is for me to continue to care for someone that clearly don’t care about me anymore and it gives me the insight and strength to eventually be able to move on myself too but it hurts me incredible much right now because I know it’s wrong and that I have to at the end convince myself that you never loved me for real, I then saidI want to do wellBut you are forcing me to do otherwiseYou want to burn all bridgesI don’t know what to do about it anymoreI want to build, you want to destroyAnd I don’t get itReally and for whatBecause it feels incredible wrong and unnecessaryBecause I know we can have it good if I’m allowed to do it the right wayAnd as usual you have nothing to say about it other then -.- like I were some idiot that don’t understand what you wantOr you are asleep, I don’t know, I told her thisIf you really want me to do what you are sayingI willBut know then that I am not doing it whole heartedAnd It’s just because you make me do itBecause you are not giving me any other optionShe responded -.-. What can I say this time differently? She really has a hard time believing I like her too she keeps saying things like “You only say it because you want to say it, not because you really mean it" and having trust issues, Somewhere deep inside I know she still likes me because all that love that she showed me couldn’t have been in vain she could literally die for me that’s how much she liked me. Me: I saw and talk to her numerous times after. If I were you, I would contact her once or twice a week to convey my feelings for her, or more depending on the reception that she gives me. After a while of being single, I fell crazy over my now SO, that I intend to live the rest of my life with. any hope for anything. And that hole thing about mind f***in her with not telling what we were suppose to do that day, it must mean she still has feelings for me and contemplating on making a decision right? Probably one of the most difficult, emotional challenges that you you'll face, and regrettable if you don't give it your all. A mutual friend of ours recently met with her, and told me that she was upset about what happened. She told me that she has never had a relationship like that in her life. So we got of the other train and stood outside on the platform for about an hour and talked about us. Now the word "Busy" I'm not sure if she meant, busy as in doing something or busy as in I don't want to talk to you right now or Busy as in I'm not available I'm just to scared to find out now...hoenstly don't know what I should say to her tonight. But it all feels like she’s prolonging our meet-up on purpose till December when she gets her answer whether she got in to that school or not so that she can have an excuse to move out. Care or self-respect? ”It’s over, if you ever come near me again I will call the police, you know I can do it.” I didn’t respond, 20 min later she called I didn’t pick up, I just went home knowing what I did was the right thing, I still believe to this day that it was because I caught her red handed. She did so much to make things work out for us and now she just can't get passed the break-up as if the situation can't be fixed, in her mind she is set on the fact that it won't be good if we get back together how can I show her that it will be different? Is it never possible for a girl to forgive once she has made up her mind? Which reinforces my theory. I had that day gone to the hospital because I wasn’t feeling well that same day I told her on the phone that she was evil for not caring about me and said to her that I would commit suicide and see if she would care then.Of course stupid mistake again, she freaked out called the police because she was afraid I would do it, they came a looked for me they found me, picked me up drove me to the hospital, I got some sleeping pills and then was on my way home.

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